|
| Monday, January 02, 2006 |
| Bedbedbed |
Bed bed bed.
I should go to bed.
It is getting late, and
I'm a sleepyhead.
Why don't I want to go to bed? I like sleeping. I like dreaming. And tomorrow I will wake up 28, and I like birthdays too. Usually.
Yesterday we watched Code 46. It's very average, don't bother with it unless the only other option is Random Hearts. In it we meet Maria, the day before her birthday. I don't remember which birthday. But once a year, every night before her birthday, Maria has the same dream - that she is riding on a train. The train line has a finite number of stations, and each year the train stops one station further along. The day we meet Maria, it is the day before the dream that will deliver her to the last station, and she just knows that there, at that station, she will find her life's fate. So she stays awake all night, so that she will not have the dream, and will not know her destiny ahead of time.
That was the most interesting aspect of the film. Perhaps it has impressed something upon me. Perhaps 28 just sounds much more mature than 27. Perhaps it is the thought that, of all the things I had vaguely expected to do, see, and achieve as a "young adult", I have done, seen, and achieved - well, okay, one of them. I did finish a Bachelor's degree. Perhaps it is the realisation that my life is truly in my hands, that no-one else can be held responsible, that I and I alone can do, see, and achieve the things I desire for myself. But I think the same thing every year the night before a birthday, so there's nothing particularly special about this one.
Today my Friend-Around-the-Corner told me she is pregnant. So, I suppose, next August (or thereabouts) there will be a mini-Friend-Around-the-Corner to buy presents for. Perhaps, in 2007, he or she will call me 'Auntie' and there will be chocolate cake smeared on the tablelegs at my 30th birthday. Maybe Bosco will get over his fear of small people.
Yesterday, in the Mall, I acquired a friend. He told me I was open-minded, and clear like water, and that he hoped I would have a beautiful child one day.
I think that perhaps I am not so different from Epiny, that I would rather keep my child's freedom than step into a woman's responsibilities. And, like a child, that I would rather keep my Friend for my own than relinquish any part of her to her child. I am petulant, I know. And selfish. I will get over it. Life is never the same, never constant, never unchanging. Do I really wish it were? |
posted by Ata @ 11:02 pm  |
|
| 2 Comments: |
-
Perhaps 28 just sounds much more mature than 27
Naah. I don't think so.
Happy birthday. I wish you lots of careless irresponsibilty ... until you want it otherwise.
-
Happy birthday, Ata. I have no words of wisdom though, alas.
|
| |
| << Home |
| |
|
|
|
|
Perhaps 28 just sounds much more mature than 27
Naah. I don't think so.
Happy birthday. I wish you lots of careless irresponsibilty ... until you want it otherwise.