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| Monday, April 30, 2007 |
| Mr Ata battles ineffectively against the tyrannical forces of HR |
We are in preparatory mode. Aside from emptying drawers, preparing to sell off my Phantom comics, and planning who to loan Mr Ata's Very Expensive Speakers to, this means getting the paperwork in order.
To assist with our HSMP application, we have engaged the services of a third party. Yes, it costs money and we could just fill it all out ourselves - but the fees for submitting the application are expensive enough that we want to do it right the first time. And there is a LOT of paperwork, and stern warnings in the instructions that the British High Commission will reject out-of-hand anyone who submits the wrong stuff/not enough of the right stuff/stuff that gives conflicting evidence/stuff that looks forged.
Herein lies a little problem. We want to submit the application before the end of June, which means Mr Ata will not have received his yearly payment summary - that's a group certificate in Australian. They're issued at the end of the financial year - June 30 - or thereabouts. So we have to submit his paylsips as evidence of earnings instead. One would think this was not a problem.
However, on review, we discovered several things:
(1) Mr Ata's payslips from his last employer look... well, kind of forged. Because they were supplied as online documents that he printed himself. No worries, the HSMP instructions have covered this. He has to get the payslips authenticated by the issuing company.
(2) One payslip doesn't show a taxable gross amount.
(3) To ensure that all bases are covered, we also requested a letter from the company stating his total earnings for a specified period, covering part of last financial year and most of this financial year.
This is where it gets fun. Payroll have bluntly refused to authenticate the payslips, insisting that they have the company logo & ABN and this is enough. Well... it's not. They have to be stamped and signed. AND one of them doesn't even have the company logo. On querying (2) with the company, they said - don't worry, it was a glitch and we fixed it and it'll show up fine on your yearly payment summary. Again, not good enough. We need the PAYSLIPS, NOW, with the RIGHT AMOUNTS showing on them! Okay, payroll isn't my area of expertise, but I'm fairly certain that it's a legal requirement for a company to provide complete payslips to their employees. And the error on this payslip affects every payslip after it.
With regard to (3), Mr Ata went to the trouble of drafting a letter stating the necessary information... and here I quote: "Please be advised that the letter cannot be filled out and signed, this letter is not produced by Payroll, if the company who is requesting the information can send us a form to fill out directly we would be able to provide this details."
What the? Mr Ata cannot send a draft letter for them to confirm & sign showing HIS OWN INFORMATION, but ANOTHER COMPANY can send a form asking for it & they'll happily supply the info?
Here's the thing: Mr Ata turns 32 on the 2nd of July. After 32, you don't get extra credit on the HSMP criteria for your age, and you have to show rather a lot more under the earnings criteria to make up for it. Now, we think that if the correct amounts were shown on the payslips, he would have enough earnings to mean that he didn't need the extra points for being under 32 (it's because of the redundancy payout - part of it can count towards earnings). BUT because we don't have the correct payslips NOW, we can't be sure of exactly what they show. If we wait to receive the payment summary, we won't need the payslips (you only need to give one or the other) BUT he might qualify... or he might not. If we put the application in now, he'll qualify - but all the supporting documentation needs to be correct & consistent. Frickit. Either way we need the payslips corrected, we need them authenticated, and surely a letter saying "We paid him this much" isn't too much of an ask? The letter we might be able to do without IF we can get everything else we need, and just now, they're not being too helpful. You know the most frustrating thing? I can't do anything about it. I can't ring the payroll office & set them straight. All I can do is offer helpful advice about what to put in the emails to make what we need clear.
And the office is located interstate, so I can't even go in & break some kneecaps. |
posted by Ata @ 6:32 pm  |
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| Friday, April 27, 2007 |
| That T-Rex, he's a card. |
Ata's little brother has introduced her to the high-quality webcomic that is http://www.qwantz.com, which is where I borrowed this picture from. And when I say "borrowed", I mean "stole, but gave credit to so it doesn't count as stealing really".
...All right, I'll do this one the proper way. Heheheh. Take that, Kelsey Grammar.
Edited to add: couldn't resist this one. Ahh, that T-Rex. |
| posted by Ata @ 11:31 pm |
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| Wednesday, April 25, 2007 |
| For the curious |
This was last year's Carrot.
http://www.myspace.com/theforestfilm
...now you can keep tabs on the success or failure of the endeavour. I mean, obviously I'm not in it, so it can't be TOO successful. And given that I'm moving to the UK next year, I won't be around to audition for their next film, so it's okay with me if they don't succeed.
No, that's a lie. I want them to be wildly successful, so they'll make more films in Adelaide and give actual paid acting jobs to Adelaide actors. Yes. That's what I meant to say. |
| posted by Ata @ 9:56 pm |
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| Monday, April 23, 2007 |
| Countdown |
Okay. Bathroom done in May or June, painter comes in to patch cracks & pain in July - no, August - house goes on the market August. Got to get onto that patch of dead lawn so it's green in spring. Normal rainfall forecast for the next two months, so we should put off the painter for as long as possible to minimise the effects of possible further ground movement. Probably shouldn't try to fill the cracks in the yard that I can put my hand down, a season of decent rain and they'll close on their own, surely. Bathroom has to be done before painting, we need to get the plumber in the day before the bathroom guys come and then again the day after to hook up the new sink.
Hard rubbish collection booked so we can start clearing the shed - done. How did we get so much stuff in four years? Half of it's not even ours. Squeeze an answer out of little brother by June so we know what to do with his stuff. That box of belongings that belongs to the Amazon - should have given it to her when she was down the other week. Damn. Go through the drawers & work out what to give to the Salvos, what to sell, what to keep. The mostly full bottle of Chanel No. 5 that was a gift from the Amazon - actually, I think she might like me to give it to her rather than sell or otherwise dispose of it. Is it still good after this long? Still smells like perfume. Not that I wear No. 5 very often, hence I still have most of a bottle. Now I smell like No. 5 as I continue the sorting. Don't ask Mr Ata if he wants to keep that ancient cardigan. He already spent half an hour trying on pants that haven't fitted him for three years. What do I do with my didgeridoo?
Cats go to the vet for rabies vaccines in May or June, so they'll be ready to travel by December if need be. Roswell needs a microchip. Should she be tattooed? If I have her ear tattooed, she'll have to go under anaesthetic, but if we don't get the tattoo, how will they know to check her for a chip if she gets lost?
Mr Ata's contract finishes end November. House goes on the market August, average sell time in our area is five weeks, should be sold by mid-September. Unless, of course, the HSMP approval hasn't come back by August, in which case we'll hold off selling the house. How long should we hold off for? We want to travel by Feb, so even if the house sells quickly we'll want a long settlement or to rent back. What if the buyers won't do that? Do we leave earlier? Or do we - gulp - move in with Mr Ata's parents for a month? What if the HSMP takes a long long time to come back approved? Do we sell the house in the expectation of getting visas by February?
Ata goes to Korea in June. End June. Back in Australia by 10th July. Need to book tickets now, no room on the credit card and the payment takes days to go through. Don't forget to check it again tomorrow. Back in Australia by the 10th, Mr Ata wants to visit his best man in Sydney - should that be July or August? Can I tie it in with Kate? I want to go to Darwin for my Dad's 60th birthday, that's August. Maybe we can make it one big trip. Will Mr Ata have the servers installed at work in time to take leave in August? Will they let him take time off if they're not installed?
Now, I think, would be a good time to learn to use MS Project. |
| posted by Ata @ 11:35 pm |
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| Friday, April 20, 2007 |
| Daniel Gets A Reprieve |
Ata is happier with her hairdo. Despite the unexpected shagginess of the 'do. Not only did someone at work compliment her new haircut today, it is much quicker to dry.
Perhaps I will get it shorter and more layers next time. |
| posted by Ata @ 5:49 pm |
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| Monday, April 16, 2007 |
| Hair do, hair don't |
Ata got a haircut today.
Ata operates a low-maintenance hairstyle. She gets it cut once or twice a year, in the style it took her some time to learn how to communicate to the hairdresser. She does not like changing hairdressers, as it took her a long time to find the one who understood what she wanted. Emily was her favourite. Ata loved Emily. Picked at random in Ata's desperate search for the right hairdresser, Emily turned out to also attend the same gym as Ata, and they recognised each other from the weights class they both participated in. It was meant to be. Emily understood instantly what Ata wanted, and supplied exactly the right haircut. When Ata went back some months later, Emily even remembered Ata and what she wanted done to her hair. Fantastic. Ata loved Emily.
Then Emily went away. Lured by the glamorous life of a cruise-ship hairdresser, Emily left her position at Leon's Hair Studio, and Ata got handed off to Erin.
Erin wasn't too bad. She did, admittedly, give Ata the stripey 'do a year or so ago, but it was liveable, and turned out alright after a few weeks to soften. She also remembered Ata when Ata went back for subsequent cuts.
This time, however, it seemed there had been a change of ownership since Ata last attended Leon's Hair Studio. Erin is no more, and nor are any of the other familiar faces. Instead, Ata found herself parked in front of a friendly and socially acceptably camp male hairdresser as she recited her usual request. A good trim off the bottom, two or three inches or whatever it needs, some layers through the back and the front angled backwards. Ata likes this arrangement. It needs little care, can be tied back if necessary, and curves satisfactorily under her chin. Daniel examined Ata's hair.
"Hm," he said, "It doesn't look like you had layers here last time."
"No," agreed Ata, who had in fact felt that Erin's work last time was somewhat lacking in the layers department. "She didn't put many in last time. I'd like some more this time." Ata was feeling dangerous today. Live life on the edge, and all that. More layers, please.
When Ata got home - many hours afterward, as there were a number of tasks intervening between leaving the hairdressers and arriving home - she looked in the mirror.
"Holy Shining Scissors, Roswell!" exclaimed Ata. "It's a she-mullet!"
Exactly what Daniel was aiming for is unclear. It could have been country-western rock star, surfer chick, or possibly even dominant male lion, but either way - time for a new hairdresser. |
| posted by Ata @ 5:47 pm |
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| Sunday, April 08, 2007 |
| Have Your Kayak |
Yesterday, we went kayaking.
Our Friends In Victor Harbor go kayaking on a regular basis. Well, since she had the baby she hasn't been kayaking (two months is too little to paddle a kayak), but he still goes out weekly. They invited us to go kayaking, so yesterday we drove to Victor for some sea paddling action.
There wasn't much happening in the way of waves, so we decided to paddle to Wright Island. They have two kayaks - a double and a single. Ata paddled with our friend on the way out, and Mr Ata went on his own. We paddled to the island, around the island, and then up onto the beach. Then we hopped over the rocks and around thorn bushes to look at the waves crashing on rocks and flocks of pigeons wheeling overhead. Apparently, pigeons like Wright Island. One seagull berated us for setting foot on it's turf, but Ata told it to be quiet and it was. The sky was clear and sunny, the water was green and cool, and Ata wished she had a camera. On the way back, Ata paddled the single kayak while the two boys took the double. Ata got launched first, and drifted for a little while on the clear smooth water while she waited for the men to catch up. The water was so clear she could make out different kinds of seaweed growing from the bottom, but she didn't see any fishies. Paddling back was hard. Ata had not kayaked before, and managing the rudder was a little difficult - the kayak would turn and turn and turn before Ata realised she had her foot down hard on the pedal, and needed to push the OTHER side down to turn the kayak back to shore. By the time she beached the kayak - slowly and awkwardly, driven more by the action of the small waves than under her own paddling steam - Ata's shoulders and arms and back were reprimanding her severely, and she struggled to help carry the kayak up the beach & haul it onto the trailer.
It was a very lovely expedition, and a gorgeous day to be out on the water. Ata remembered how much she missed living by the ocean. She stood on the rocks of Wright Island, watching the one jetski crash through the waves between Wright Island and the Bluff, and sighed - "Why are we going to the UK, again?"
Mr Ata was able to answer this very promptly, as our Friends in Victor Harbour had lived in the UK for a couple of years and had been regaling with us with tales of adventure. "Skiing in Italy," he said. "Yeah," agreed our Adventurous Kayaking Friend. We all looked back out over the water once more, and started rock-hopping back to the beach where the kayaks were parked.
Even skiing in Italy would surely be hard-pressed to beat kayaking in Victor Harbour.
Wright Island |
| posted by Ata @ 11:00 am |
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| Thursday, April 05, 2007 |
| Today's Confusion Brought To You By Ata |
Truly, I am the Queen of Havoc. My loyal knights, Chaos, Mayhem, and Disorder ride in my wake. Behind me lies a trail littered with stress, anxiety, and embarrassment, and my ego flies in tatters like a shredded flag.
Did I ever tell you about the time I accidentally ordered 75 mini vibrators for the physiotherapy department of a hospital? The supplier got them in specially for us from America, and they could not be returned (the supplier did, however, agree to buy them back as needed, and eventually they were all sold). How about the time I mixed up packet quantities with carton quantities, and had 20 pallets of adult continence supplies delivered to a nursing home. In Mount Gambier, a six-hour drive from Adelaide. Oh yeah. The couriers loved me for that one.
Today, however, I attempted a larger scale of destruction. Perhaps in some subconscious effort at revenge on couriers for the struggles they caused me way back when I worked at the healthcare supplies provider, I effectively shut down a courier company for about four hours. It happened like this.
I was in the throes of a very tangled account reconciliation, and attempting to work out what purchase order numbers were in our system that had not been used. I discussed it with my supervisor, who told me to print off an Estimated Liabilities report, which would show me basically what I wanted to know. He showed me roughly where to look for the report in the software, and left me to it. The first one I printed off fine. No worries. When I went to do the second one, however, I saw something different - an option which I thought might possibly give me more information. Hooray! So I selected it. Hm. "Options" - no, that's just where I select how I want it to print out, cancel out of here. I hit F9, being the key I was used to using in this software when performing a different task to go back to what I was looking at. This is the critical bit. F9 isn't so much a "back" instruction as an "accept" instruction - I'm very new to this particular application, having been using it only a couple of days to do some very limited things. In other areas of the program, I need to press F9 to accept the options I'm looking at & go back to the main transactions I'm working on. In this module, however, F9 caused the print to start. I had a small moment of panic, as it began displaying the record numbers of what it was printing - purchase orders for a particular supplier. It didn't seem to be stopping, so I located the cancel instruction. Phew. Cancelled. And at only 92 records. Great.
I went & checked the printer. Nope, nothing there. Then I recalled - I don't have a proper profile set up, so any changes I make to the default printers get reset as soon as I log off. The computer usually resets itself to printing to the PDF writer. Good. No harm, no foul, no enormous printouts waiting to surprise me.
About a half-hour later, I get a phone call. It's from the supplier - the same account I was working on. What a coincidence, thinks I. I cannot take calls directly, so I arrange to call them back rather than take it at someone else's desk. When I try to call, I can't get through. It's busy. I keep trying. Five or six attempts later, I get through.
"Are you sending us something?" asks the nice girl at the other end. That's when the penny drops - it didn't send to the PDF writer, it sent the records to the supplier's fax number. Bugger.
"How many pages do you have?" queries Ata. It seems twelve pages have gone through. I apologise. Terribly sorry. No, you don't need to do anything, and I've cancelled it at this end. All good.
Twenty minutes or so later, I get another call. There are still pages coming through. The nice girl is sounding a little less nice.
To truncate the story somewhat at this point - There were a number of difficult phone calls, during which I tried to explain there was nothing I could do, it was gone from our system and could not be stopped. They tried turning their fax off and on, to no avail. I spent two hours asking everyone I could think of, googling fruitlessly for help, I spoke to the support people for the software application (who assured me that I wasn't the first one to do this but no, they couldn't help), and in the end, there was nothing I could do. I found the website that let me track sent items, but all that showed me was that I had sent them. I got a delivery confirmation emailed every time one went through, but I could do nothing to stop them going through. They apparently had a very little tiny fax machine, because it took four hours for all 92 pages to be delivered.
And the best bit? Their fax and phone used the same line, so they were effectively unable to take or make calls for four hours across the middle of the day. Fantastic. Oh, I shall be taking good care to see that their account is paid As Quickly As Humanly Possible. |
| posted by Ata @ 7:51 pm |
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